It's cold and raining and I'm in a crappy ass mood. I'm not quite ready to eat my young but just wait 'til I get back from driving to and from Philadelphia in the rain at rush hour.
EC spent Saturday night at friends house and woke up the next day to go to Maple Grove Raceway to watch the drag races (Hey- it's classier the demolition derby I should know we've been there-twice!). This little field trip to Redneckville was probably inevitable since we've rented a camper to roam the west this summer. Soon he'll be hitting up Nascar and lawn tractor racing. Maybe he'll even start watching the The Fishing Channel. If he buys himself a John Deere trucker hat I'm staging an intervention ! Actually we've always talked about going to the drag races as a family-all that burning rubber and testosterone would be a great bonding experience. You know we're all about cars so stop laughing (now)! EC said he had a great time but now I'm pretty sure we're in big trouble. It was High School Drag Day. I guess parents would rather have their kids on the track than the local industrial strip. As you know we like to have the police involved in our entertainment so this is one probably not something we would have had the brains to orchestrate(Dude, someone has to make sure our taxes are used!). Unfortunately EC noted that one kid had the same Honda Si we have. What a comforting moment when Mr Motor Head announced that our little Si would do a 14.2 sec quarter mile(secretly-I love this!!). I can't wait 'til he gets his license, trips to the store will take about 2 minutes including shopping ! At least we'll keep the police busy.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Secret
Have you ever noticed how important it is for people to say things without actually saying what they really mean? For example: last night I say to Hubby,"If you're so inclined the dishwasher is empty". Of course this means ," Why the hell can't you ever just open the dishwasher and load it !" But because I pointed it out nicely(and probably because I had gone out and bought his adminstrative assistant flowers that day) I achieved the desired end result or so I thought. As is customary, I said "Thanks for doing the dishwasher honey" to which he replied, "You're welcome. I didn't do it all though-I only did the obvious ones." To this I have to wonder-how the freak do you define the obvious dishes? Are they the ones he can see (note:get eye exam) all dirty dishes were carefully stacked (by hubby I might add) in the sink? Are they the ones that look really dirty, can I just put the clean looking ones a back in the cabinet? Perhaps they are the dishes that you don't have to rearrange anything in the machine to fit them in?After some brain swirling contemplation, I came to realize is that the obvious dishes were the ones he got to before he didn't feel like doing anymore. Which was just fine and he could have just said that-of course I could've just said," Why the hell can't you ever just open the dishwasher and load it." But that's not nice and I wouldn't have gotten what I wanted(ever again probably). So here is my advice(you can take it or leave it*): Never say what you really mean unless it's nice-This is the secret to staying married ( that and for us, not wanting to give up any cars in the custody battle) . You only need to say just enough to get the job done.
*-translates loosely to "If you don't like my advice I'll just add you to my voodoo doll collection-that's not sciatica in your left leg,dude!
*-translates loosely to "If you don't like my advice I'll just add you to my voodoo doll collection-that's not sciatica in your left leg,dude!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Happy Earth Day !
Thanks to the wonderful illustration on Google I can safely (and on time) wish you a Happy Earth Day. I'm thinking Google could make this function really useful if only it were a tad more personalized. Maybe we could enter all our family occasions into a file and every day a picture completely related to our lives would appear. Imagine, caricatures of relatives doing their favorite things like wiping their hands on their pants when they eat barbequed chicken or mouthing the words "you forgot again slacker"to remind you it's their birthday.It doesn't give you any time to get a card in the mail but hell-thats what free hallmark e-cards are for-use them (Dude- there's my Earth Day tip for a better world),attach a box of chocolates if you feel really guilty! On holidays you could customize the drawings to reflect how your family really experiences them. For Christmas, a picture of the 18 foot tree falling over just after decorating(I still say we could've taken a couple more feet),for Easter a basket with nothing but black jelly beans and a chocolate bunny with it's head eaten off(cause we all know that Easter has nothing to do with Jesus,just like Christmas). Thanksgiving for my family could show a melee of xrays and mri's from seasons past and maybe a little bottle of oxycontin. The changing of the seasons could be more interesting too. Instead of the lovely seashore scene with it's little seashells and umbrella they could put something more frequently seen. How about a fat guy wearing nothing but small shorts(you know the one who always looks naked and never looks like Brad Pitt) riding a John Deere mower and chugging a Miller Lite. I guarantee more people equate this image with the start of summer than ever see a day at the beach(think the Mid West,people!). How about for the start of winter a bunch of people keeled over with their snow shovels sticking out of the last pile they tried to pick up before their heart attack(this could double as a health warning) or for city dwellers art work showing moving the lawn chair(or recliner) from the front porch to the parking space in front of their rowhouse(for Philadelphians only). Fall wouldn't even need a picture just a full volume audio of leaf blowers. Spring could feature a box of tissues and several local allergist phone numbers. You could even mark divorce dates and breakups with great little vignettes of your exes being run over by turf mowers or getting re-relationshiped with a chimpanzee. The possibilities are limited only in your own(or my)twisted mind.
So Happy Earth Day and remember -no trees, paper or pens were harmed in the writing of this blog-only the english lanquage was butchered.
As an aside, do you think Google is going to steal this idea and then hit me up for royalties? Hmmmm...
So Happy Earth Day and remember -no trees, paper or pens were harmed in the writing of this blog-only the english lanquage was butchered.
As an aside, do you think Google is going to steal this idea and then hit me up for royalties? Hmmmm...
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Good Clean Fun
Good clean fun is the perfect way to cap off a perfect summery spring day. Now in most houses good clean fun involves maybe running thru the sprinkler,a nice game of monopoly or jumping on the trampoline until someone goes flying off and breaks a tooth. But here at the the Exton Home for Wayward Boys we like to kick it up a notch. Well maybe it was a few notches, but it was educational,I swear.
First of all I need say that I never knew that you could buy dry ice at the grocery store. Leave it to teenage boys to know this though. And they know this why? Because you can blow things up with dry ice that's why! It's also why you have to be 18 to buy it so they had to hang around and ask people to buy them dry ice(at least they're not hanging around the liquor store trying to get some idiot to buy them a fifth of rotgut). Had I known just how much fun we would have I'd have gladly gotten it for them!!! Of course,there's the obvious fun,dry ice is a blast because when you put it in water it boils and puts out bubbles that look like pingpong balls. If you put it in your stream it creates a foggy cascade and more bubbles! I put it in my giant urn fountain and it looked like bubble,bubble,toil and trouble-awesome. However, I am off the point slightly,to remind you- you can blow things up with it! And blow things up we did!!! Actually it's very cool(no pun intended) you put some dry ice in a plastic bottle,fill it with water and screw the lid on nice and tight. Then you either throw it or leave it there and run like hell. It is absolutely crucial to take cover or get very far away after this step .If you do it right, pretty soon the plastic bottle starts to expand and crackle. Then if it has a label the label pops off and then it flat out explodes. We are not talking the top blows off,we are talking vaporization (if it goes really well) or at the very least the plastic shards roll up like curling ribbon. The sound is incredibly loud. My neighbors can clearly attest to this because of course someone called the cops( it was only a matter of time). Now granted the noise was alarming but it's amazing what else people will assume is going on. Apparently there was underrage drinking,guns and bombs!!! So as we have set up the last icebomb in a diet tonic bottle our friendly neighborhood officers arrive. Personally I thought we'd met them all but no,here were two new ones! They ask one of the kids-the one hiding in the previously built bamboo structure-what he's doing. Of course like all good teenageres he tells them and then invites them into the yard. Of course he's hiding-we all are-so the officers politely decline(duh).Meanwhile Hubby cranks up the chipper shredder and pretends not to hear or see the police. It's not like they were unexpected-I mean we were clearly having to much educational fun! Finally he decides to talk to them(we know our rights dude!). All this time the bottle has not yet exploded. Now the problem with this is that just because it's been 15 min doesn't mean it won't blow up when you go over to check it. So of course the boys begin to fling things at it (making it even more entertaining). Most of the items miss and the cops continue to stand in the driveway with Hubby discussing the benefits of shooting it with a BB gun. Finally someone throws a log and the thing blows up in a big way. The lid and a curl of plastic is all that's left! The officers are duly impressed and able to confirm that we are indeed gun-free and there are no laws against dry ice and water. They also kindly requested that next time we provide some sort of legitimate crime( I swear!) like snorting cocaine off the center line of the road(not likely-it's the freakin' Exton Autobahn out there,none of the kids have jobs and Hubby would never spend that kind of cash on a non-investment!) or actual underage drinking. Apparently the fact that they spend a lovely afternoon wandering our yard and enjoying educational excitement makes them feel guilty. They are no doubt forbidden to have fun on the job. After inquiring about where to buy dry ice they hightailed it off with smiles on their faces to look for real criminals. Leaving us wondering what the heck we would do for the rest of the afternoon for excitement!
First of all I need say that I never knew that you could buy dry ice at the grocery store. Leave it to teenage boys to know this though. And they know this why? Because you can blow things up with dry ice that's why! It's also why you have to be 18 to buy it so they had to hang around and ask people to buy them dry ice(at least they're not hanging around the liquor store trying to get some idiot to buy them a fifth of rotgut). Had I known just how much fun we would have I'd have gladly gotten it for them!!! Of course,there's the obvious fun,dry ice is a blast because when you put it in water it boils and puts out bubbles that look like pingpong balls. If you put it in your stream it creates a foggy cascade and more bubbles! I put it in my giant urn fountain and it looked like bubble,bubble,toil and trouble-awesome. However, I am off the point slightly,to remind you- you can blow things up with it! And blow things up we did!!! Actually it's very cool(no pun intended) you put some dry ice in a plastic bottle,fill it with water and screw the lid on nice and tight. Then you either throw it or leave it there and run like hell. It is absolutely crucial to take cover or get very far away after this step .If you do it right, pretty soon the plastic bottle starts to expand and crackle. Then if it has a label the label pops off and then it flat out explodes. We are not talking the top blows off,we are talking vaporization (if it goes really well) or at the very least the plastic shards roll up like curling ribbon. The sound is incredibly loud. My neighbors can clearly attest to this because of course someone called the cops( it was only a matter of time). Now granted the noise was alarming but it's amazing what else people will assume is going on. Apparently there was underrage drinking,guns and bombs!!! So as we have set up the last icebomb in a diet tonic bottle our friendly neighborhood officers arrive. Personally I thought we'd met them all but no,here were two new ones! They ask one of the kids-the one hiding in the previously built bamboo structure-what he's doing. Of course like all good teenageres he tells them and then invites them into the yard. Of course he's hiding-we all are-so the officers politely decline(duh).Meanwhile Hubby cranks up the chipper shredder and pretends not to hear or see the police. It's not like they were unexpected-I mean we were clearly having to much educational fun! Finally he decides to talk to them(we know our rights dude!). All this time the bottle has not yet exploded. Now the problem with this is that just because it's been 15 min doesn't mean it won't blow up when you go over to check it. So of course the boys begin to fling things at it (making it even more entertaining). Most of the items miss and the cops continue to stand in the driveway with Hubby discussing the benefits of shooting it with a BB gun. Finally someone throws a log and the thing blows up in a big way. The lid and a curl of plastic is all that's left! The officers are duly impressed and able to confirm that we are indeed gun-free and there are no laws against dry ice and water. They also kindly requested that next time we provide some sort of legitimate crime( I swear!) like snorting cocaine off the center line of the road(not likely-it's the freakin' Exton Autobahn out there,none of the kids have jobs and Hubby would never spend that kind of cash on a non-investment!) or actual underage drinking. Apparently the fact that they spend a lovely afternoon wandering our yard and enjoying educational excitement makes them feel guilty. They are no doubt forbidden to have fun on the job. After inquiring about where to buy dry ice they hightailed it off with smiles on their faces to look for real criminals. Leaving us wondering what the heck we would do for the rest of the afternoon for excitement!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Still on Island Time
For all of you who were worried-I have not floated away,the island has not gone up in some colossal volcanic eruption and I have not sold out to some bottled water company. I'm still here, muddling through the day to day routine of endlessly dull chores which, when I couldn't do them I wished I could. Now that I can, all I want to do is avoid them(thus I shall begin blogging again). Go figure!
Driving is going surprisingly well. I only occasionally jam on the brakes with my left foot and send loose items ricochetting off the windshield. The potential for flying objects in the cabin keeps the kids on their toes (and under their seats). Helmets would help but where's the fun in that? Actually I'm using all my feet the way they are supposed to be used and I'm thinking of trying the stick shift this week(just when you thought it was safe to go out!).
Thanks to illnesses and migraines(theirs),I've been spending quality time with the children. They are finding out so many new things about their Mom. For instance, YC discovered that I'm secretly mesmerized by belly dancing exercise videos. Maybe you've seen them on FITtv between the Food Network and HGTV. I can't seem to switch channels if one of these programs is on. It could be the music or the outfits
or the unnatural undulation of their bellies. Whatever it is it makes me want to try it(after the knee heals). I cannot tell you how excited this idea made the children. When I told them EC gasped in horror and YC tried to get out of the vehicle while it was moving. So you can see they saw the potential in it. I'm not sure what they think my belly dancing will mean for them. It's not like I'm going to put on some harem pants and a bra with coins and jingle off to do the grocery shopping. Undulating thru the produce aisle is just asking for trouble, what with melons and all. All I need is some old guy asking me if I got my cucumber yet! I did suggest that maybe I could cook a meal or two in my outfit, although bare skin and hot olive oil seems like a bad idea(most of the time). Perhaps they were afraid I might actually belly dance my way across the stage at their high school graduations (my idea)to celebrate the end of free schooling. They should know better, the Husband would never let me celebrate paying for something we used to get free. However, if I charged for my belly dancing appearance hmmm........
I'm not sure taking belly dancing lessons is really in my future but I just love watching the kids faces when I rattle off the multiple ways I could use this skill to mortify them-ah the power! Plus the little finger cymbals would be great for trapping the burgeoning herd of stinkbugs in the house without actually crushing them and stinking the joint up. Such a useful and multipurpose exercise program may be too good to pass up-I'll keep you all posted.
Driving is going surprisingly well. I only occasionally jam on the brakes with my left foot and send loose items ricochetting off the windshield. The potential for flying objects in the cabin keeps the kids on their toes (and under their seats). Helmets would help but where's the fun in that? Actually I'm using all my feet the way they are supposed to be used and I'm thinking of trying the stick shift this week(just when you thought it was safe to go out!).
Thanks to illnesses and migraines(theirs),I've been spending quality time with the children. They are finding out so many new things about their Mom. For instance, YC discovered that I'm secretly mesmerized by belly dancing exercise videos. Maybe you've seen them on FITtv between the Food Network and HGTV. I can't seem to switch channels if one of these programs is on. It could be the music or the outfits
or the unnatural undulation of their bellies. Whatever it is it makes me want to try it(after the knee heals). I cannot tell you how excited this idea made the children. When I told them EC gasped in horror and YC tried to get out of the vehicle while it was moving. So you can see they saw the potential in it. I'm not sure what they think my belly dancing will mean for them. It's not like I'm going to put on some harem pants and a bra with coins and jingle off to do the grocery shopping. Undulating thru the produce aisle is just asking for trouble, what with melons and all. All I need is some old guy asking me if I got my cucumber yet! I did suggest that maybe I could cook a meal or two in my outfit, although bare skin and hot olive oil seems like a bad idea(most of the time). Perhaps they were afraid I might actually belly dance my way across the stage at their high school graduations (my idea)to celebrate the end of free schooling. They should know better, the Husband would never let me celebrate paying for something we used to get free. However, if I charged for my belly dancing appearance hmmm........
I'm not sure taking belly dancing lessons is really in my future but I just love watching the kids faces when I rattle off the multiple ways I could use this skill to mortify them-ah the power! Plus the little finger cymbals would be great for trapping the burgeoning herd of stinkbugs in the house without actually crushing them and stinking the joint up. Such a useful and multipurpose exercise program may be too good to pass up-I'll keep you all posted.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Driving Crazy
Yesterday I officially rejoined the wide world of the driving(of course my Dr didn't say I could-but what's a girl to without wheels) and drove myself to physical therapy. I did this because as much as I enjoy having EC cart me about town he has stay every time I go to therapy. This takes 1 1/2 hrs of time which doesn't technically involve him ! I will say that the therapists seem to enjoy having him crutch around,talk about sports (go Sixers, go Flyers, suck it up Phillies)and throw tennis balls around. I kept thinking that some poor rehabber was going be innocently exercising and take a ball to the head,thereby negating all of their prior PT and giving them a whole new ailment to work on! This did not seem to bother any of therapists(odd) though they did draw the line at his playing hockey using my crutches and the tennis ball. At that point they took everything away from him and made him stand in the corner. He actually seemed to enjoy this last form of entertainment. Staring at the wall is very Zen apparently.
After the torture of having my leg folded toward my butt(I'm pretty sure I didn't need this skill before the accident)which was not a Zen experience I still managed to drive myself home.
About my driving.Personally, I would not recommend attempting to drink any type of beverage while I'm driving. The whole braking with the left foot is just a tad unpredictable and could result in flying refreshments at any moment. Also it is a good idea to secure all belongings on the floor as they may shift(or become airborne) while in transit. Seat belts are also a must and I apologize in advance for those pesky strap bruises. My last piece of advice; use those grab handles that's what they are there for-now you know it's not just for driving with teens.
Bolstered by my highly successful trip to rehab I decided to terrorize the mall. When YC got home from school I took him to get new sneakers. You might recall the previous pair were destroyed in the great flood/creek jump. Since he was no longer allowed to come to school in socks, I was given no choice but to provide new footwear. The trip started well. I found a space right up front at the entrance which was closest to the store and successfully maneuvered my crutches to the door.After reteaching YC the fine art of holding the door open(the trick being not to walk thru it before the person you're holding it for does) we ambled(sort of) to Journeys store.
After much deliberation a pair of $60 sneakers was chosen. That was when we discovered the Journey was going to be ours. The very conservative young man with pink and blonde hair informed us that the store for kids with big feet(aka adult size) was at the other side of the mall! This left me wondering whether YC was as strong as he looked and whether he could be utilized as a form of transportation like one of those motorized coolers(minus the beer). The good news was I able to successfully crutch through the mall and only almost tripped once. Luckily YC made me feel so much better about nearly falling when he told me if I had fallen he would've picked me up after he stopped laughing. What a great kid! Thankfully the rest of the excursion was uneventful and involved cookies!
So now you know to keep those eyes open for the for the blonde in the green SUV who's braking like she's got a tremor-just switch lanes(quickly)and go on your merry way. I'll get where I'm going eventually and the roads will will be safe again-if only for the time it takes me to buy milk. Look out WaWa!
After the torture of having my leg folded toward my butt(I'm pretty sure I didn't need this skill before the accident)which was not a Zen experience I still managed to drive myself home.
About my driving.Personally, I would not recommend attempting to drink any type of beverage while I'm driving. The whole braking with the left foot is just a tad unpredictable and could result in flying refreshments at any moment. Also it is a good idea to secure all belongings on the floor as they may shift(or become airborne) while in transit. Seat belts are also a must and I apologize in advance for those pesky strap bruises. My last piece of advice; use those grab handles that's what they are there for-now you know it's not just for driving with teens.
Bolstered by my highly successful trip to rehab I decided to terrorize the mall. When YC got home from school I took him to get new sneakers. You might recall the previous pair were destroyed in the great flood/creek jump. Since he was no longer allowed to come to school in socks, I was given no choice but to provide new footwear. The trip started well. I found a space right up front at the entrance which was closest to the store and successfully maneuvered my crutches to the door.After reteaching YC the fine art of holding the door open(the trick being not to walk thru it before the person you're holding it for does) we ambled(sort of) to Journeys store.
After much deliberation a pair of $60 sneakers was chosen. That was when we discovered the Journey was going to be ours. The very conservative young man with pink and blonde hair informed us that the store for kids with big feet(aka adult size) was at the other side of the mall! This left me wondering whether YC was as strong as he looked and whether he could be utilized as a form of transportation like one of those motorized coolers(minus the beer). The good news was I able to successfully crutch through the mall and only almost tripped once. Luckily YC made me feel so much better about nearly falling when he told me if I had fallen he would've picked me up after he stopped laughing. What a great kid! Thankfully the rest of the excursion was uneventful and involved cookies!
So now you know to keep those eyes open for the for the blonde in the green SUV who's braking like she's got a tremor-just switch lanes(quickly)and go on your merry way. I'll get where I'm going eventually and the roads will will be safe again-if only for the time it takes me to buy milk. Look out WaWa!
Friday, April 4, 2008
I'm so excited!!! The creme de al creme of catalogs Hammacher Schlemmer has arrived! This catalog is an amazing collection of items to make all of our lives easier and more fun if only we fork over a third of our bank accounts. There are so many things in this catalog that I simply must have!! First I'll order the "Authentic Scottish Chanter". This indispensible item is the precursor to learning to play the most spectacular instrument ever-the bagpipes. I can't wait for it to come. The family is gonna love the haunting echo of the chanter throughout the old homestead. Erie the elkhound would probably stroke out as I opened the box (bad news-I can not sue PECO for his demise if this happens). We never see Coco the cat a.k.a. White Lightning this would guarantee we'd never see her again-she might even stroke out next to Erie.If she did I'd invite you all over so you could see what she actually looks like when she's not leaving the room, maybe I'll even have her stuffed!
Nothing bothers Frank the cat or Kody the other Elkie . Frank would just jump into the box and pop a paw out at Kody every time he passed. By the time I'm done learning(or someone clubs me with a hockey stick) we'll all know how EC feels when he has a migraine. This would be an excellent way to explain to non-migraneurs what a migraine feels like. Oooh- I could record the chanter on a cd and sell for ONLY $.24.99. I'll call it something like "Chanting 'til Your Head Hurts" I could even cross market it as non toxic pest,pet and kid repellant. Thanks Hammacher Schlemmer!
The chanter is of a fun little diversion, but the big gun of my list is the ingenious "14 mph Cooler". What have I done all my life without this item?! For only $500 I can fill a cooler with a case of beer and 8lbs of ice and ride it to the neighbor's party, the bank or really useful-the beer distributor for a refill. Not only that, there's a drink holder between my legs so I don't actually have to stop drinking while I run errands!! More good news it has the handling of a golf cart! Wow, now there's statistic that'll make you feel safer while your reaching into the cooler (through the cup holder) for another cold one on your way to to the beer distributor for a refill . In case you can't picture this splendid vehicle it pretty much resembles a cooler bolted to a 3 wheel scooter.If you want a cushioned seat and backrest that'll be $29.99 (a bargain). Flames, racing stripes and spoilers are available for just bit more(ok, not true but they ought to offer supe-up kits!). Listen up boys and girls-if I'm going to buy a $500 cooler it ought to come with a freakin' seat-I mean you have to be kidding. That's like buying a car and having to pay extra for the steering wheel! The whole thing was a better idea before I saw the seat was extra but why let a little thing like that delay my purchase. I wonder if I need a license and registration for this puppy?
As soon as I get the helmet/radar detector on page 26 look for me to tool over to party (or wrecking in a shrub)near you! Thanks again Hammacher Schlemmer-You Rock!!!!
Nothing bothers Frank the cat or Kody the other Elkie . Frank would just jump into the box and pop a paw out at Kody every time he passed. By the time I'm done learning(or someone clubs me with a hockey stick) we'll all know how EC feels when he has a migraine. This would be an excellent way to explain to non-migraneurs what a migraine feels like. Oooh- I could record the chanter on a cd and sell for ONLY $.24.99. I'll call it something like "Chanting 'til Your Head Hurts" I could even cross market it as non toxic pest,pet and kid repellant. Thanks Hammacher Schlemmer!
The chanter is of a fun little diversion, but the big gun of my list is the ingenious "14 mph Cooler". What have I done all my life without this item?! For only $500 I can fill a cooler with a case of beer and 8lbs of ice and ride it to the neighbor's party, the bank or really useful-the beer distributor for a refill. Not only that, there's a drink holder between my legs so I don't actually have to stop drinking while I run errands!! More good news it has the handling of a golf cart! Wow, now there's statistic that'll make you feel safer while your reaching into the cooler (through the cup holder) for another cold one on your way to to the beer distributor for a refill . In case you can't picture this splendid vehicle it pretty much resembles a cooler bolted to a 3 wheel scooter.If you want a cushioned seat and backrest that'll be $29.99 (a bargain). Flames, racing stripes and spoilers are available for just bit more(ok, not true but they ought to offer supe-up kits!). Listen up boys and girls-if I'm going to buy a $500 cooler it ought to come with a freakin' seat-I mean you have to be kidding. That's like buying a car and having to pay extra for the steering wheel! The whole thing was a better idea before I saw the seat was extra but why let a little thing like that delay my purchase. I wonder if I need a license and registration for this puppy?
As soon as I get the helmet/radar detector on page 26 look for me to tool over to party (or wrecking in a shrub)near you! Thanks again Hammacher Schlemmer-You Rock!!!!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Back in the Saddle
Sorry I've been away for awhile. It's tough to be snarky when so many people I know are having tough problems to overcome. That said I think I'd better start cheering some people the heck up before all the s**t hitting the fan comes back at them and they forget about the importance of ducking(as opposed to the importance of ducklings,ooh so cute!).
A friend of mine was worried about the selfish reaction that her 13yr old son had to his birthday presents. In a moment of clarity I espoused this little nugget of wisdom which I thought you might all like to hear. Unfortunately I could not come up with way to word this intro without sounding full of myself-I'm really not you know. It's not like I'm Mrs Dr Spock or someone and if you think it's crap ok-I can live with that(I'll just make a voodoo doll of you and poke it full of pins)but here is :
As parents we spend our lives making sure that we teach our children manners,values and caring ,but very minute will not be filled with their doing the right thing or showing the right level of value or appreciation,but when the time comes for them to be tested and you are not around they will rise to the occasion because YOU taught them how.
Of course results may vary and all children may not respond in the same manner. This statement has not been evaluated by the American Association of Pediatric
Psychologists.Any unauthorized twisting this information for private use must be approved by the author(I say go for it).The author of this statement accepts no responsibility for negative outcomes(read-your problem!).
Ponder this piece of sage advice and the attached disclaimer the next time your kid takes an airsoft gun(loaded) and pelts the annoying kid whining about his video game score in your family room (in front of your big screen TV) . Try to remember this act does not mean they are going to grow up and go postal. It means they gave no thought to the act -if they had they'd have put on goggles and moved away from the TV. Yes, this happened at my house and yes, I was home and no, I wasn't on a different floor-I was in the laundryroom and no,nobody was hurt. Possibly the child deserved it but they should've known better- honestly they could've put out an eye or busted the TV! After I explained these possible outcomes they understood and learned(ok they laughed and I took away the airsoft guns) and nothing like that has ever happened again-and no one's gone postal yet.
A friend of mine was worried about the selfish reaction that her 13yr old son had to his birthday presents. In a moment of clarity I espoused this little nugget of wisdom which I thought you might all like to hear. Unfortunately I could not come up with way to word this intro without sounding full of myself-I'm really not you know. It's not like I'm Mrs Dr Spock or someone and if you think it's crap ok-I can live with that(I'll just make a voodoo doll of you and poke it full of pins)but here is :
As parents we spend our lives making sure that we teach our children manners,values and caring ,but very minute will not be filled with their doing the right thing or showing the right level of value or appreciation,but when the time comes for them to be tested and you are not around they will rise to the occasion because YOU taught them how.
Of course results may vary and all children may not respond in the same manner. This statement has not been evaluated by the American Association of Pediatric
Psychologists.Any unauthorized twisting this information for private use must be approved by the author(I say go for it).The author of this statement accepts no responsibility for negative outcomes(read-your problem!).
Ponder this piece of sage advice and the attached disclaimer the next time your kid takes an airsoft gun(loaded) and pelts the annoying kid whining about his video game score in your family room (in front of your big screen TV) . Try to remember this act does not mean they are going to grow up and go postal. It means they gave no thought to the act -if they had they'd have put on goggles and moved away from the TV. Yes, this happened at my house and yes, I was home and no, I wasn't on a different floor-I was in the laundryroom and no,nobody was hurt. Possibly the child deserved it but they should've known better- honestly they could've put out an eye or busted the TV! After I explained these possible outcomes they understood and learned(ok they laughed and I took away the airsoft guns) and nothing like that has ever happened again-and no one's gone postal yet.
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