Not The Happy Blog

Good morning! Nice huh? Nope-that good morning is laced with enough sarcasm to make Simon Cowell seem like a delightful dinner companion. So much crap is hitting the fan on that pretty soon I'm going to have to buy those super flush toilets. You know the ones that you can flush a basket of golf balls and a cat down. Most of this would probably be no issue if it weren't for the fact that I'm so damn slow at everything, can't drive and am spending 6 hrs strapped to a machine that is neither a shiatsu massager or a blender for making frozen drinks.
Here are my complaints/issues and just plain bitching about stuff. By the way I've realized I don't type any more intelligibly with the laptop not moving-which pisses me off, but yay for spellcheck!
First and the least important is that a crazed robin continues to fling itself at the downstairs door. This is day 5 or 6, you'd think his little tiny brain would get it by now. This robin is dumb even by bird standards. It's mildly entertaining to stand in the window and scare the shit out of it when it pops up from the ground to attack itself,but I'm not crutching all the way down just for that. The sound is making me nuts! I'm on the verge of power-crutching down with a tennis racket,opening the door and playing a little badminton( I don't have a badminton racket,dude) with a real birdie!
I might get that chance since EC is home with a migraine today. You know what's really fun about that-NOTHING! He isn't even good company(not his fault). This is EC's worst time of the year for these and so far no meds are working. So glad I paid $65 for this current drug (no ins.$240) that barely works.Can you imagine if we had no insurance! I have 4 more treatments leftover, I wonder if it has a street value. If anyone knows someone who wants the rest of the meds (migranal nasal)for free by all means let me know. If you just want them so you can deal them -step off that's my gig bro! Just Kidding-I run an upright household here. Anyway once EC's headache subsides enough (don't worry it'll be back for an encore tomorrow) He'll have to drive me to the CVS so we can get a different drug.Wonder what this one will cost?
While they fill the prescription we can zip(yeah right)over to the grocery store for a cake that'll feed like 12 kids for tomorrows birthday party. This is YC's belated birthday sleepover
(oh yeah- you read it right!). It's put pushed back so many times he's almost 13. So like 12 kids are coming over,eating cake and spending the night (anybody have a taser?). This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that Loving Husband's staff just told him yesterday that they are having a goodbye Happy Hour for him after work( he's headed to another department). This is a big deal-drinks (of which I get O),appetizers(O again)and adult reverie(O a third time). So you see it's not like he can reschedule or blow it off . Very rude not to show up at your bon voyage party(only Prince can do that). Maybe I'll just put them all in the downstairs and turn on the video games to get them all riled up. Then when they're good and wild I'll throw the cake down the stairs and lock the door. Wow, I wish my mom had thrown parties like that when I was a kid! Maybe I wouldn't have smacked into the refrigerator blindfolded while playing pin-the-tail on the donkey and knocked myself out(although that should clear up a lot for all you readers).
After EC and I snag the cake (if his migraine hasn't returned and assuming I haven't developed one) we'll go have the oil changed in the SUV. This last task is completely my fault. Earlier in the week I felt bad 'cause Hubby is so busy what with me being cripped and all and him changing departments. Sooo- I volunteered EC and I to go down to the lube shop and have the oil changed. Hubbs already did the Honda si this week. It seemed like a splendid idea idea at the time but clearly I must still have had substantial Percocet still in my system and a total lack of premonition to have said this. Too late now-he reminded me on the way out this AM and gave me "the look" when I said I had my hands kind of full(unfortunately I probably deserved "the look")what with EC and all.
The only good things that happened this AM were that I woke up feeling dizzy and like I was going to hurl(be patient,it turns out ok). This was immediately alarming because I was needing to crutch all over the house to care for EC and because I really couldn't figure out how to toss my cookies with one leg locked straight! Basically I envisioned a giraffe like stance accompanied but much prayer that I would hit the mark when the time came. Thank goodness the time never came but it was daunting to think about and something you really don't have to consider most of the time! YC was very sweet and offered to stay home and take care of me. He's a very empathic boy and of course it was a win/win situation for him ,except for the barfing. I was touched but loaded his thoughtful butt onto the bus anyway.
On my way back from the bathroom just now my crutches fell for like the 400th time just this morning. What the hell is the point of using crutches to get around if every time I set them next to me the slide to the floor!? I'm either going to fall over picking them up or fall over them period! Earlier I dropped one down the stairs trying to get ready to take the flight. Good thing I don't need them to get around or anything! Someone needs to fix this problem or buy me a freak'in Segue(maybe not so good on the stairs). One of those stair chairs you see advertised in the Sunday paper would be useful but I'm sure the kids we be on it all the time( a real hit at parties) and then it would jam up with all the aminal ( I meant to type animal-really)fur in the house,void the warranty and we'd use it to hang coats on like the treadmill. I guess I'll just keep crutching along.
Tomorrow I will post the Happy Blog(if we're all lucky)
Enjoy yourselves-said with only a teeny bit of irritation thanks to the wild raving posted above.
Sorry-sort of.