Burning Questions

Apparently I needed a day to recover from the festivities of truly great birthday. Thanks to all who contributed to my 2 hr nap and 4hrs of icing my knee. It was soooo worth it!
Today I've returned and am feeling irreverent and snarky so read on at own risk!
I've come up with a bunch of questions and musings that may of may not require some kind answer. If I've got one I'll share it (aren't you lucky?),if not I'll probably just snark about it.
Here goes!
I'm having ACL replacement surgery next Thursday-WHY can NO ONE figure out if I will be in the hospital over night???? Here's the current breakdown of responses:

Ortho Surgeon- YES (as long as it's less than 23hrs)
Scheduling Sect.- NO (surgeon doesn't like to keep anyone overnight)
Ortho Phys. Asst.- YES
Hospital RN(pre admission)- NO (4-6 hrs max unless my knee explodes or something)

The pre admission nurse suggested that if it made me feel better I could pack an overnite bag in
case I did stay. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER!!! She has lost her mind-how do I know I won't be hanging around in the hall after my surgery while everyone points fingers at everyone else about where the hell I'm supposed to be. Jeez- at least I know we all agree it's the right ACL(just to make sure they write "cut here" in sharpie for the surgeon before he goes in) and who the surgeon is.
Who the surgeon is brings me to a rhetorical question. Should you let one of your husbands frat brother cut into your body (yes he's a real doctor). Especially if your husband suggests a pizza and beer laced reunion in the operating room and the surgeons eyes light up at this thought. I suppose as long as I'm out and no one drops a freakin' pepperoni in the incision ( which will later be I.D.'d as a new meniscus by his lawyers during my malpractice suit) I shouldn"t let this bother me.

Clearly frat brothers leads to teenage males(right?).

EC's friends all show up yesterday to play STREET hockey. They are now all drivers and never miss an opportunity to complain about what people outside the car are doing that is stupid and dangerous. Not to mention their desire to now criticize everyone elses driving! I promptly inform them not to play in our street (4167 th time) due to poor visibility and the fact that an above average number of people seem to think they are in Germany on the Autobahn not Pennsylvania. Helloooo-Do any of you see shnitzel stands on the street corners??? As usual they say "OK" we're headed down toward "G's" house. Now this was not a lie exactly-they walked that way til they thought I couldn't see them (4167 th time) which now places them on the worst curve of the road. BOYS THIS IS NOT BRIGHT (said t00 many times to count)! Gave the "You're drivers now and you would probably run yourselves over if you were driving" speech. Received the classic defensive comebacks- "would not!" and "if we were driving we wouldn't be in the street playing hockey". Not my point -my point is this: If teenage boys can't figure out that they are in danger of being run over how do we think they decide whether they are going to run something over? Where the freak do they keep their brains???(no answer for this).

Last item :Why is Grecian Formula using 2 preteen girls to advertise they're product?
Here's the scenario. Two girls tell Dad "it's time"( for what-the talk, his meds, their period?) and produce a box of hair dye for their old gray Dad. Next things you know Dad's on a date with a hot middle aged woman(hey-they exist!) and the girls are thrilled. Dude, any one who watches Lifetime knows this is not how it goes! This is how it really goes :Dad colors hair, girls go through his stuff to see why. Discover date. Stalk potential mommy dearest and leave dead hamsters in her car. Date puzzles aloud about the hamsters. Dad goes on date -girls poison wine that Dad brings as gift. Date drinks wine-keels over-Daddy is blamed and goes to prison. Girls grow up to be porn stars and blame Dad's murderous ways for their profession. Dad gets religion and parole and saves the girls from a life of debauchery. They live happily ever after on Fantasy Island ! Clearly I've been watching too much CSI Vegas! But you get my drift. Good luck Grecian Formula!
I think I've given you plenty to consider for one day-don't let your brain explode form the effort-you'll just have to clean it up!