Dumbest Waste of Airspace Award or the Happy Blog

I actually typed this yesterday but I didn't think you all could take 2 posts in one day-plus now I don't have to think of something new to entertain you today'

The Award for the Dumbest Show on earth.

First the title: Shopping Bags . Now, if I was going to name a show I would not imply that the shows stars not only need shopping bags but bags over their heads. The two women hosting are actually very attractive and almost completely stupid (think Jessica Simpson in a 40yr old body). The premise, comparative testing of items we would consider buying and telling us their favorites. Yesterdays items: pushup bras, jog strollers, flashlights and how to choose the right wine (red) for the perfect dinner.

These would seem like great items and useful evaluations, 'seem' being the operative word here. The push up bra was idiotic( I did tape it for my husband though-it's cheaper than real porn flicks). They compared cheap bras to expensive bras. Here's a shock-everyone hated the cheap bras! This was decided by the most important test I use to evaluate a push-up bra-dressing in crappy sweats and jumping up and down to see if my boobs fly out of the bra(hence the taping for hubby). Everyone I know wears a push up bra to aerobics class. Hello people- don't you think there'd be more guys in aerobics class if this was true! Next were the jog strollers. First, I think most women jog to get away from their kids but whatever. This test offered up two really useful suggestions. Make sure you get one that fits in your car(duh?) and always get hand brakes and foot brakes. Now junior doesn't have to roll away because you had to take a drink of water and scratch your nose at the same time while jogging. Of course I'm not sure how you set the foot brake while moving nor do I think anyone wants to add that kind of resistance to their running(aerobic exercise be damned). All strollers have foot brakes otherwise kids would be rolling all over the place and there'd be tons of ads by lawyers claiming to get top dollar for heartbreaking stroller injuries(they'd probably be wearing baby bonnets and bibs so you remember their firm).Next they gave tips on choosing the perfect wine. I must confess, I was in the other room and thought they said "Find the perfect wife for your dinner tonight". I didn't actually watch this segment so I can't make fun of it (hey I was hungry!)but they were testing shiraz which is not exactly rocket science. The last thing they tested was the most unnecessary,flashlights! Now everyone with kids knows you will not see any flashlight you purchase for more than 15 minutes. There's a reason they're usually impulse buys-you're never sure if the kids have taken the one you thought you knew you had. The ladies tested the flashlights by tromping around in the dark woods in their pushup bras with their jogging strollers looking for that bottle of shiraz. Okay, only the shiraz and the flashlights were involved but wow that would've cool! The test pretty much proved that two "bags" in the woods searching for a bottle of wine is about as useful a way to test a flashlight as testing pushup bras with jumping jacks. The last indignity thrust upon the flashlights (and us) was dropping them on a little pile of rocks(5 times,rough). Of course the $3 flashlight broke the first time. The rest suvived all 5 drops(whoosie little drops people!). This is a complete waste of flashlights. Show me a flashlight than can still turn on after being buried in the woods under leaves, run over by the riding mower and be taken apart and put back together(sort of) by your average teenager and I'll show you a flashlight worth buying -if you ever see it again. Personally I'm sticking with the $3 light it's just more economical in the long run.

There are some good runner ups for the Waste of Airspace Award. One of my favorites is: I Want That.It's full of things nobody wants like sushi shaped usb ports(I am totally not kidding,they look like those displays in the windows of Chinatown!).California roll or lobstertail sticking out of the side of your computer anyone?I hope they're scratch and sniff too! I'm also fond of Martha Stewart who is currently advertizing things you don't know about Martha plus sponge cake with a suprise. What if the suprise is something we don't know about Martha like she prepares that sponge cake naked!!!Yuck, I would not want to know that!! I'll even throw an infommercial in- the Point and Paint.I have no idea what this product is (because I've been typing away for you all) all I know the only way I'm going to point and paint is if some studly guy from Sherwin Williams(do they have them?) shows up and asks me to point out every thing I want painted and then paints it(without his shirt on preferably). Now thats what I call Point and Paint!!