R-E-S-P-E-C-T ?

This blog may come off a little (just maybe) cranky. Things have been challenging at our house to say the least. It would probably be easier to and less painful to have your wisdom teeth pulled out(no anesthesia) then shoved up your butt and pulled out your ear. There's a pretty picture and a great topic for a U Tube video. I gotta get me a facebook!!!
Anyway, a discussion occured at bible study small group that has been bothering me and I thought I'd let it bug you too(aren't I the generous friend). R-E-S-P-E-C-T . Not the Aretha Franklin tune,it's jammin' though, the attitude. An older woman in the group remarked that kids have no respect for others anymore. A number of other woman agreed and then the dicussion turned to the fact that some schools are teaching Respect as a course in school and how truly awesome this was because the little monsters all just need it soooo bad. Here's my problem with this (you knew I'd get to it) I do not think you teach respect-you earn respect. You can teach manners,tolerance,empathy and thoughtfulness. All these things can be exhibited even though you don't respect someone-it's called self control. But for another person to respect you you must first treat them with manners,thoughtfulness and understanding. This does not mean deciding that a kid whose pants hang off his ass (on purpose) is a disrespectful person and staring at him like he needs to get to some kind of rehab. My guess is if you looked at me the way you're looking at him I'd think about flipping the bird at you too! Of course I could just be hostile. Teachers, same thing, embarrassing a kid ,calling attention to his faults and shortcomings and yelling at him in class will not get you respect-dude, he knows you expect the worst of him and he'll give it to you everytime (unless his self control is better than mine). I spend so much time with teenagers. I ski with them, talk to them and hang with them and with rare exception no matter what they appear to be on the outside they are actually near civilized beings on the inside. If they let you know they were completely civilized you might try to get in on their fun(thus ruining it).I think they don't want you to know their secret so you'll leave them alone but they're really civilized in there-they know how to act and they're pretty much waiting for you to invite them to show you. Even those kids who have (gasp!) 2 working parents! Jeez most of us my age had 2 parents who worked and I'm old! So the next time you people(ooh I love that phrase) want to blanketly decide that kids have no respect I suggest you think about how you are treating them first . Just take a minute and see if you face says "hoodlum"and hope they're not thinking "narrow minder geezer" about you. I bet it makes a difference in how you act and they respond. Go ahead it doesn't hurt too much!
I'm sure not every one will want to take this chance, it's risky you could get dissed(see wikipedia)-thats okay-I have a bunch of fresh new voodoo dolls just waiting to have your face drawn on them.